Tag: experiements

I’m desperate to see a hare!

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Research Project

Spring has almost sprung, and top on my list of things to do this spring, is see a hare. My fella’s Pa saw one on the top field near our house, so I have a good chance of seeing one if I head out at dawn or dusk, keep down wind, hide behind a bush, be very quite, and don’t move. If I’m very lucky, I may even see them boxing, as it will be breeding season, and to fight off unwanted male attention, the females give the fellas a clip around the ears, quite right too!

Hares have become one of the central elements in my paintings, and the more I learn about them, the more they rightly deserve that place. There are currently 4 visual elements in the work that I am trying to weave together: Water, Bones, Lace and Hares. There are also two conceptual elements: Pain and Receptivity.

The Manx word for hare is cleaysh liauyr – which means good listener (also: slow to answer, forbearing person, long-eared). I love this meaning associated with the hare, and would like to incorporate it in my paintings somehow.

Hares are a very important animal in Manx folklore. They are associated with witches/wise women, or “they that have the charms” (as my Manx family do). Hares are also thought to be inhabited by the souls of old women. For this reason, as in other Celtic lands, hares are not to be eaten.

Here is a delightful recording of Johnny Crellin talking about Manx folklore regarding hares.

I’ve got the t-shirt, now I have to do it!

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Research Project, Week in Review

The other day, while scrolling in bed, I came across an ad for the Cancer Research UK Run 62 Miles in March challenge, and in a bid to allay my napping-in-the-daytime guilt, I signed up. Post-nap, and failing to rope my fella into it, I considered not doing it, but then a Cancer Research t-shirt arrived today, so now I have to do it. To be honest, the t-shirt is a little snug, so, not only do I have to run 2 miles everyday in March, I also have another challenge – to fit the t-shirt by the end of it.

I have been all over the place with my painting this week. One minute I love the big painting and feel committed to finishing it, the next I think it’s going in the wrong direction, and I seriously consider abandoning it. I oscillate between these two points of view a few times a day. I am quickly approaching the point of no return, and will have to make a decision soon and stick with it.

In the mean time, I have been painting my folks.

My fella came home from his work travels last Monday. It is so lovely to have him back, though now he has a fancy job, we don’t have as much time for day drinking. A spot of day drinking and hearing each other’s newes is one of our fondest gettogethers. The most memorable occasion was the time we were in Tuscany, and we ordered a Moscow Mule – which is vodka and ginger beer and one of my favourite tipples. When relaying the recipe to our Italian waiter, something got lost in translation and he bought us a vodka and gin. Naturally, we drank it to be polite. Sure, it packed a punch, by the end of it, it didn’t taste too bad at all.

Hare hare!

CSM MFA - Progress Blog

It’s been a busy couple of weeks in the studio. I started the big painting, and as with the experiments for it, I go from confidence to doubt regularly. I will continue for another couple of weeks, and if the current idea I’m working on doesn’t pan out, I may return to the experimental works on paper, and work things out a bit more. I can always show some of the paper works for the exhibition in June. Hopefully, the big painting will work though. It’s a good idea, and could be a really good painting, if I get it right.

I get a break from the painting when I stay at my fella’s on the weekends. Instead I take my sketch book, and doodle away while he plays video games (which he assures me is for work). I am still obsessed with hares, so they have been getting top billing in my sketchbook.

I just found out today that hares can swim if need be. Here’s one a guy filmed in Frampton Marsh in Lincolnshire:

Last week I gave a presentation of my paper (on the Ars Moriendi) to the class. I was very anxious about it, but it went better than I thought it would. I’m glad it’s done, because now I can just concentrate on the painting.

My fella is away for two weeks – first London, then L.A. I miss him terribly and hope he brings me back lots of presents!

My bread and butter diet is a dud!

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Research Project, Week in Review

Like most people riddled with Christmas-gorging remorse, my fella and I are on diets. We opted for different plans; my fella choosing Keto, and me, a bread and butter diet I designed myself. After sticking to our respective diets since New Year, my fella has lost 10lbs and I’ve put on 2.

I was back at school this week, and am quietly bricking it that there are only 19 weeks of term and a couple of weeks holiday left before it’s all over. I will be focused solely on my research project until the end, the main part of which is a large painting. I have been preparing for the painting the past few weeks, and am pleased to report that I finally started it this weekend.

It’s an ambitious painting, and there is no guarantee it will work. Currently, I am oscillating between hope that it will work, and freaking out that it won’t. The latter got the better of me this morning, and I bought a huge roll of paper so I can at least do some smaller paintings in case the big painting turns out to be a dud like my bread and butter diet.

To help improve my chances, my fella took me to a local river confluence so I could make an offering to the painting gods (assuming they hang out down there). It is the place that initially inspired my research project, and is one of my favourite places on the Island.

In other news, I am obsessed with hares at the moment. I love learning about them and drawing them…

…and painting them.

I haven’t seen one in the wild yet, even though they live close by, but I did see this handsome fellow in the Manx Museum the other day:

Such is my love of hares, I made a Wisdom Daily video about them last week.

Preparation is key

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Painting, Research Project

Abraham Lincoln once said:

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.

Most of my studio time this week was spent trying to figure out how I want to approach the painting for my research project. The canvas is primed and ready, but before I start I have to figure out how I mean to go on. To do this, I have been staring at the blank canvas, rummaging through the paintings I have done so far on the course, practicing techniques, reading books related to the topic of the painting, researching the life of the central figure of the painting, visiting the locations where the event to be depicted took place, going for long walks to spark my imagination, and taking naps in the hope the sleep fairies give me ideas.

Through all of this, a consistent image has been coming together as to the general layout of the painting. But the particulars and details will only emerge during the process of painting it. Normally when I conceive of a big painting, I have everything mapped out, and more less know where I am going with it, and what it will look like when I am finished. Approaching this painting with so many unknowns, and being willing to let it emerge organically, relying on instinct rather than design, is very scary.

The whole reason I wanted to do this masters course was to be challenged in my practice and gain the courage to attempt a new type of painting, so I only have myself to blame for my current predicament. I suspect once I start the painting, I will love the process. I am going to give myself a few more days of prep work (as above), and will begin the painting when my fella and I return from Scotland.

For the love of Ham-cat

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Experiments, Painting, Week in Review

Ham-cat is still playing hard-to-get. I have tried enticing him with ham and cat-calls but he remains elusive (although my fella’s Pa did see him skulking along the driveway hedge the other day). I am not looking to domesticate him, but it would be nice to be friends. I decided if cold meats and “here kitty kitty” wasn’t going to work, I’d have to bring out the big guns…

It’s been a strange week in the studio. The relief of finishing my research paper and resuming painting, soon turned to frustration. I have a pretty clear of idea of the kind of paintings I want to do for my research project, and even what they will be about, but for some reason I am having trouble realising them. Below are a couple of paintings from this week; although I like them, they are still a long way from what I have in mind.

As well as painting birds (for some unknown reason) I have also been drawing them, along with hands. Hands are notoriously hard to draw, and while I don’t want the hands in my paintings to be perfect/realistic per se, I do want them to be expressive.

I have nearly finished the collage for the Manx Museum exhibition, there are just a couple of finishing touches to do. My fella and his Pa are making a frame for the painting I will also be showing, which is great, as they always make such beautiful frames.

Under pressure

Collage, CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Experiments, research paper, Week in Review

This past week has been the most stressful of my course so far. It started off ok, but then I had a one to one with my tutor about my research paper, to discuss the draft I had submitted a few weeks ago. In reality she probably gave me some helpful tips, as to how I might bring my offering up to scratch, but what I heard was that it is crap and I need to start again. Since then I have been paralyzed with stress (the paper is due in 3 weeks), which I have sought to remedy by eating my feelings, which is a shame because I had just joined WW again and had lost .4lb (which I initially thought was 4lbs and some paper-writing-stress weight loss miracle). Worse still, I have hit a dead-end with my paintings, and have only scratched out a few drawings.

When I reach a painting dead-end, there’s only one thing for it, I have to stop for a while, so I can then start anew with fresh eyes/ideas. Thankfully, this week proved to be the perfect time to stop, as I have to make a collage for an upcoming exhibition. Collaging is one of the most comforting things in the world, next to jigsawing with my Ma, so while I’ve been all stressed and scoffing, I have been cutting bits of paper and sticking them together, which in and of itself has been an absolute delight.

The collage “Ellan Vannin” (Manx for Isle of Man), is for the Home exhibition at the Manx Museum in November. I made the original collage a few years ago, but before putting it altogether I scanned the individual sections, so I can print and re-cut/construct it at will. This one will be larger than the original, and is printed on thick matte paper, which will hopefully allow me to suspend the finished collage from the ceiling.

I have a new friend, Ham-cat – a feral black cat who lives in the hedge. Only my fella has seen him, but I have been leaving him ham, so I’m sure we’ll be best-buds soon. I am thrilled little Ham-cat has come along, as I’ve always wanted a cat. I am also very grateful, as this summer we saw a few “long-tails” (it’s bad luck to say the R-word on the Isle of Man, and if you hear it said or accidently say it yourself, then you have to pat your head and whistle to avert the bad luck), so hopefully Ham-cat will keep them under control.

In the deep green sea

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Experiments, Green, Research Project, Week in Review

I had a good week in the studio, and really enjoyed being back at school without the dreaded covid. I have a dual focus this term, namely, drawing and my research project. Even though my drawing has greatly improved, after focusing on it this summer, I now realise that when it comes to drawing, learning and improvement never ends. For this reason, I have signed up for a series of drawing workshops, joined a drawing club, and booked one on one sessions with a drawing tutor.

I have also kept up my morning drawing discipline, which this week has consisted of filling large pages with a variety of ink and watercolour drawings. I really enjoy this part of my practice, and try and keep it light and fun.

My paintings this week were sea-themed, no doubt influenced by my passionate love of Moby Dick, which I am still listening to on my walks to see the bobbers. I agree with Ray Bradbury’s assessment –

“Shakespeare wrote Moby-Dick, using Melville as a Ouija board.”

I also experimented with colour and detailing, with the hope that when I come to do the paintings for my research project, I’ll know the palette and detailing style I want to use.

On Friday night, my dear friends and I had one of our ladies-nights at our favourite cocktail bar, Fynoderee. We were two-women down from normal, but we still had a wonderful time. As you can see by the photo I took, I was a bit wobbly by the end of the night.

Back to school Covid blues

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Research Project

My masters course resumed last week and I spent the majority of it with Covid. Thankfully, the worst of my symptoms had abated the previous week, but I was still self-isolating awaiting a negative test, which finally materialised on Saturday. Covid sucked, especially the night-time delirium and almost constant headache, but I have lived to tell the tale, so I didn’t do too bad.

Once I got over feeling crap, isolating at Anam Cara was actually quite wonderful. I napped indiscriminately, received treat-laden grocery deliveries from my lovely fella, painted loads, and went for long walks to see the bobbers (my collective noun for seals). They are pupping at the moment at the tip of the Point of Ayre. I am very careful not to get too close, but even seeing them all hauled out from a distance is a real joy.

Increasing my bobber-walk-joy tenfold this past week has been listening to Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. What a stunningly magnificent book! I have been listening to it because of a beautiful poem I read by Hart Crane, called Melville’s Tomb. I have been reading quite a bit of Crane’s poetry of late, in relation to one of the paintings I am planning for my research project. Crane’s poetry had a lot of detractors during his lifetime, which broke his heart, but now of course he is hailed as an American great, though his poetry is still considered difficult. Personally, I think its wonderful, and my sojourn into his inner world, and the world of Melville has been moving and deeply inspiring.

I am still at the experimental stage with the painting, and have mostly been focused on the kind of detailing I want to use, as well as figuring out the various elements of the painting, such as the imagery below which is based on a dream he had.

I have ordered what looks to be an excellent biography about about him, which I am hoping will help me narrow down and select the elements of the painting I would like to include. Frustratingly, Amazon lost the first copy I ordered, so I am now waiting for them to resend it. I’ll be writing more about Crane and the painting in the coming weeks. In the meantime, here is a video I made about him for my Wisdom Daily a couple of weeks ago.