the Thames – bexODESSA

Goodbye London, thanks for the chips and the raging allergy

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Low Residency, project 1

Written – Friday, 17th March

Currently, I am sat in my hotel room, bag packed, watching breakfast telly, having just eaten my “I’m very poorly, I’ll eat what I want” breakfast, which consisted of a pot of chocolate pudding and a Bakewell tart. I will be heading to the airport soon, for what will either be a short trip home, or should the misfortune that befell my fella, befall me, a 3-day odyssey that will take me back and forth across the Irish Sea and a jaunty trip to Liverpool.

My body seems to be making a sterling effort of fighting whatever ails me, as I feel mildly better today. Unlike yesterday, which saw me getting progressively worse as the day wore on. I made the difficult, but ultimately wise decision not to attend the last day of class activities – i.e. visiting several art galleries together. I was disappointed I couldn’t go, as it was the day I was most looking forward to, but no one wants a moribund mucus-dripper for their art-viewing companion. Instead, I wandered the streets of London looking for the ghost of Mrs Quick.

Mrs Quick was the intended subject of my Interim Show painting that I was unable to finish in time for the show. Now the show is finished, I can resume my work on the painting, the start of which is research into her story. In short (I’ll write at length in another post), Mrs Quick died in the 1928 Thames flood, when her basement flat in Westminster became entirely submerged. Something about her story caught my attention and gave me the idea for my “Confluence” research project as a whole.

_{Mrs Quick – Acrylic on paper – test detail}

Anyway, I decided to walk to Westminster to see what I could find. To be honest, I didn’t find much save the street where she had lived and sadly died (the house long demolished and replaced), and the local pub she may well have frequented, and which I did (alone, in a corner, slathered in anti-bac). Post ghost-hunting, I made the mistake of catching a tube back to my hotel, which re-triggered my allergy, making my symptoms worse than ever, and leaving me utterly miserable for the rest of the day.

Shipping News

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Interim Show, Project 2

Today was dedicated to all things maritime, in the hopes of furthering my research for the Ann project. It began with a trip to the the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich. Although it is a beautiful museum, I was disappointed to discover that it doesn’t house or display any information about Britain’s Convict Transportation system. Even the Museum’s Caird Library does not have any documents pertaining to it within its archives. However, the librarian there did steer us in the direction of the National Archives in Kew. We did contemplate taking a trip down there, but the weather was so cold and miserable, plus they prefer, though do not require that you to make an appointment. So, instead, I filled out an online archive research form, requesting any information they might have about Ann and/or the Amphitrite shipwreck.

Seeing we were in Greenwich, we decided to visit the Cutty Sark. I’ve never been on a ship like that before, and I have to say I was very impressed. I especially loved seeing the top deck and sleeping quarters. When I was in the hold where the cargo was kept, I thought of Ann’s experience of being locked in the hold of the Amphitrite while it was being wrecked during a storm in the middle of the night. It must have been terrifying. The Amphitrite was more like the Bounty than the Cutty Sark, but it still gave me an idea of the kind of vessel she was on.

The highlight of the day was going on the cable car across the Thames. I was very scared at first, much to my fella’s amusement, but I soon got used to it. It was an amazing way to see the river, and we were even able to see Trinity Buoy Wharf, where the exhibition is, as well as our hotel. Unfortunately, due to the miserable weather, the photos I took left a bit to be desired.

We’ve decided just to hang out in the hotel this evening. There’s a lovely bar downstairs and a McDonald’s next door, so we’ll be well fed and watered.

A good day for a hanging

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Interim Show

Today was the unwrap our artworks and find a pozzy for them day. I found a suitable place for my painting, but while I was having lunch, a curatorial decision was made to move it. I eventually found an even better place, and my painting is now hanging in the Chain Store, Trinity Buoy Wharf, in my first ever London exhibition.

Even better than hanging my painting, was meeting, in the flesh, the other people on the course. It was amazing how familiar everyone felt, and how easily we all got on. It was also great to see everyone else’s artworks. Here is a video the lovely Jo took towards the end of the day, you can partially see my painting, which is blue, behind a long white bobbily thing hanging over a nest with eggs in it.

I really love the Trinity Buoy Wharf. There are lots of outdoor sculptures about the place, as well old pieces of wharfy-type machinery that I think are beautiful. But best of all, the wharf borders the confluence of the river Lea and the mighty Thames, making it a very special place indeed.

Here are my favourite sites on the wharf:

Seeing we are in London, my fella and I decided to live it up this evening. First we went to the new Canada Wharf Mall, and bought some innersoles and a pair of scissors, then we sat on a ledge, cut out our innersoles, and stuffed them in our shoes. Both of us have really sore feet, me because my shoes are new, and my fella because he’s not used to walking further than to his car in his fancy shoes.

After our fun-a-minute mall adventure, we went back to the same restaurant as last night, mostly for the chips, but also because I love a routine, even if it’s just a day old. You have to admit, it is a beautiful restaurant.

Day drinking is not for everyone

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Holidays, Interim Show

I’m a lame drinker. I hate the feeling of being drunk and loath hangovers. Plus, I am prone to migraines, so I can’t over do it. Still, offer me a drink in the middle of the day, and I’ll likely say yes. In my opinion, there are few greater pleasures in life than drinking during the day. When that day is on holiday, the pleasure is even greater. By far the best holiday drink is on the plane. It is a libation of sorts, separating the mundane from the marvellous. Our trip to London finally rolled around today, and like all good holiday goers, we began by drinking on the plane.

Once in London, we hightailed it to the exhibition venue at Trinity Warf to drop off the painting I am showing. I got to meet our wonderful course leader, Jonathan, in the flesh for the first time, and also had a tour of the space, which is amazing.

My fella and I then took a stroll to Canary Warf and found a beautiful restaurant on the water called The Hawksmoor. We went to the lower part of the restaurant, called The Lowback, which was a bit more casual, due to our somewhat scruffy, country-bumpkin attire.

The food was great and included the best chips I have ever eaten, as well as these salted caramel things that seemed a bit piddly sitting on the plate, but were ridiculously delicious.

It was dark and raining on our way back to the hotel, but the combination of the rain and lights from the surrounding buildings looked beautiful, and reminded me of why I love cities.

Equally beautiful is the view from our hotel, which includes a glimpse of the Thames. I’m completely in love with the river after reading Peter Ackroyd’s book about it. It has a long and fascinating history, and is full of wonder and mystery. I look forward to exploring it in person over the next few days.

I miss my dead-lady-bed

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Experiments, Green, Interim Show, Painting, project 1, Research Project

I love a good nap. And by far the best napping I have ever done was in my dead-lady-bed. The bed was a fixture in my last apartment, which I rented for 12 years (the longest I’ve lived anywhere). It got its dead-lady moniker because I am convinced an old lady died in it. It was a single, motorised bed that moved up and down, like you find in an old-folks home, and had a mattress so insanely comfortable, that even though I now sleep in a fancy super-king bed with a memory-foam mattress, I still find myself hankering for the warm embrace of my dead-lady-bed.

Coincidently (or perhaps not), the painting I had in mind for the Interim Show featured a dead lady in a bed. Although I wasn’t able bring the whole concept of the painting to fruition in time (of which the dead-lady-in-a-bed was just one element), it certainly wasn’t for want of trying.

Even though the painting doesn’t yet exist in its final form, I love it with a passion, and will do everything within my artistic powers to make it exist. Seeing the little experiments above gives me heart that it will!

Flogging a dead horse-hat

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Experiments, Green, Interim Show, Painting, project 1, Research Project

The other day I was lamenting to my fella about the agony I was going through trying to paint my green paintings, one of which I was hoping to get finished for the Interim Show. To clarify, he asked if I meant the paintings that if I didn’t do them there would be absolutely no consequences. That made me laugh so much. Because he was right, not just about the green paintings, but about painting in general. Absolutely nothing of consequence would happen if I never painted another thing. Sure, I’d fail my MA, and have a lot of time on hands, but no one would die, and except for a handful of people, no one in the world would even notice. And yet, I put myself under an inordinate amount of pressure, and approach my painting practice like my life, if not the world, depends on it. This has been true of the green paintings, particularly the one I had in mind for the interim show.

I absolutely love the painting I had in mind for the show, but I have come to the painful conclusion that it simply won’t be finished in time. Because it is a new type of painting for me, there is a certain developmental process that it has to go through, and rushing or missing out aspects of that process has so far resulted in a frustrating, dead-horse-flogging mess. So, before I flog the idea into oblivion, I’m going to return to the beginning of the development process, so I can build a firm foundation for the type of paintings I want to do. In which case, for the next couple of months, I will focus on colour and drawing figures.

During my last one to one tutorial, Jonathan put me onto a brilliant colour theorist, Florent Farges. I’ve already watched one of his videos, and it was extremely helpful, as is his self-designed colour-wheel system, that takes into account hue, chroma, and value. It’s all pretty technical, but I think it will be well worth the time and effort it will take to get to grips with it. So, watching his other videos, studying his wheel/s, and experimenting with colour is high on my list of priorities.

I have also signed-up for a couple of online illustration courses. So far, they have been enjoyable and easy to follow. I don’t want to do realistic drawings, and am not interested in portraiture, but I do want to develop my ability to draw expressive characters which convey emotion.

Instead of showing one of the green paintings at the Interim Show, I am going to show a painting I did when I lived in Australia. I have never shown it before, and very few people have ever seen it. That’s because I hid it in my studio due to what I perceived as a mistake in it. I always thought it was a shame, because apart from that, I thought it was a beautiful painting. Then COVID came along, the world went crazy, and I finally plucked up the courage to paint-out the mistake, and I’m pleased to say it worked, and the painting is now fit to be seen.

According to Greek mythology, Acheron (lit. river of woe) is the name of one the rivers in the underworld, which, along with the river Styx, Charon ferries the souls of the dead across. It’s an apt title for the painting, as I painted it at a time when I was miserable with unrequited love, an experience that sent my life into a tail-spin of hadesian proportions. Ahh, at least I got this painting out of it. A fair price I think.

Falling into green

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Experiments, Green, Interim Show, Painting, Research Project, Research Study Statement

Picasso was a horror when it came to women, but his insights into painting were spot on – like this:

Painting isn’t an aesthetic operation; it’s a form of magic designed as a mediator between this strange hostile world and us, a way of seizing the power by giving form to our terrors as well as our desires.

or this:

Colors, like features, follow the changes of the emotions.

I am particularly interested in this second insight at the moment, due to my recent colour change from blue to green. Blue has always felt like a safe, knowable colour to me, which is why I typically used it when experimenting. But green – it is completely different. I don’t yet know its boundaries, or what its emotional resonance will be on a large scale. On a small scale, it feels mysterious and other-worldly, if not a little bit spooky. When I paint with its darker tones (as above), I am reminded of a time when I was a child, in a boat on the edge of a lake. I remember looking deeply into the water which rippled and swirled with tones of impossibly dark green that merged into unknowable inky darkness. I was completely captivated. Even though I was only a small child, probably no more than 5 or 6, I knew I would never forget what I was seeing, and so I never have.

The above picture, which I found on the internet, is the exact colour/visual I remember. Looking at it, even with its poor resolution, I have the same sensation of wanting to fall into its depths. What a truly mysterious colour. However, the trouble with this shade of green is, it doesn’t really go with anything else (perhaps because it is perfection in and of itself), so it would not really be suitable for the figurative painting/s I have in mind for the Interim Show (although, never say never).

One thing is certain, if I am going to paint with green, I have to get it right, or I will end up with a garish mess that no one will want to look at. To avoid this pitfall, I have set myself the task of creating a suitable palette, so I’ll have a better chance of getting it right when it comes to the final work/s.

Down by the river-cide

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Experiments, Interim Show, Painting, Reading Group, Week in Review

While researching the history of the Thames river for my Interim Show work, I came across information about London’s lost rivers, one of which is the Fleet. Technically, the Fleet is not lost, rather it is covered over and now functions as a sewer that spews its effluent-rich waters into the Thames under Black Friars bridge. Fleet Street takes its name from the river (ironic that a conduit of muck should lend its name to a thoroughfare synonymous with the British Press), which was alternatively called the Holborn – derived from the word ‘burn’ meaning ‘river’ or ‘stream’, after which the area of Holborn is named. Once a vibrant London river, with its headwaters in Hampstead Heath, the Fleet is now a subterranean Acheron that London has choked with its waste. It can’t be a good thing to kill a river. I wonder if the Fleet will have its revenge?

Along with the Fleet, I have been learning a lot about the Thames. The best source of information so far is a book by Peter Ackroyd, called “Thames – Sacred River”. It is beautifully written and utterly riveting 😉 .

Never mind a single painting for the show, I think I could get a whole body of work out the subject, I am completely captivated. For now though, I will stick with the painting I have in mind. It is somewhat of a departure from the work I normally do, but it is a direction I have been wanting to go in for a while now (namely figurative). As such, it’s all a bit new and scary, but I guess that is why I chose to do an MFA, to be challenged and to develop my work. I am still not sure what style I would like to use for the figures in the painting, so I have just been experimenting this week. The header image is one such experiment.

When I go to London in March, I’d love to spend some time with the Thames, walking on its banks, crossing its bridges, perhaps even taking a boat ride on it. I also wouldn’t mind doing a spot of mudlarking – it would be great to find a little treasure lurking in its mud – though that might take some forethought, as a I believe you need a permit to do it.

Speaking of mudlarking, here is a video I made for The Wisdom Daily a while back, about London’s most famous mudlark.

The eyes have it!

CSM MFA - Progress Blog, Green, Painting, Week in Review

It’s been great to be back at school this week, though its made me acutely aware how quickly time is passing, and how hard I will have to work if I want to make the most of the course and the opportunities before me. Looming large is the Interim Show, which is a college-wide exhibition for first year students, due to take place in the second week of March at the Bouy/Chain Store, Trinity Warf in London. It is a wonderful space/location, and it will be a privilege to show some work there.

I’ve decided I shall align my submission for the show with my aims and objectives for my overall project about water, chief of which is to include figuration (people/creatures) in my work, and also to size-up (i.e. make bigger paintings). Whether I am able to achieve both or either in time for the show, remains to be seen. However, I intend to give it my best shot. To which end, this week I have been working on eyes.

Although I want my peopley-creatures to be quite loose and melt into their surroundings, I would like their eyes to be expressive and convey the emotion of a given painting. Again, it remains to be seen whether this is achievable.

It’s been a wrench to come off the Ann painting in order to focus on the Interim Show (IS) work. I only managed a couple of sessions of the latter this week. However, I’ve now put the Ann painting away for the weekend and intend to only bring it out for my early morning painting session from next week, leaving my other two sessions each day for the IS work.

My daily wanders down to the sea now include a little paddle. Inspired by a massage client who is an ardent Northern Dipper (i.e. a member a wild-swimming group here in the north of the Island), who claimed her daily dips in the sea have changed her life, I decided to get in on the action. However, the stretch of sea I live on is not safe to go swimming in, due to the fierce tidal currents in the vicinity, so I have to content myself with paddling my feet. Holy smokes it’s cold!

To be honest, my first attempt wasn’t very successful. I had left my shoes half-way up the beach, so that when I stopped paddling in the frigid waters, my feet were very tender, and it was too painful to walk across the pebbles to get to them. Never fear, with a bit of Kiwi-ingenuity I managed it.

I thought my first paddling attempt might be my last, until a little while later my feet began to tingle and I had an overall sensation that was quite delightful (my feet are tingling just thinking about it). Needless to say, I have been paddling everyday since. I can now understand why the Northern Dippers are committed to there daily dips, though how they are able to get themselves all the way under is a mystery to me – though I bet they feel amazing afterwards!

Speaking of the Norther Dippers, here is a Pathé inspired video I made about them for a film course I did last year with Berlin Art Institute (note my fella’s amazing narration).